hobbitydoo's Xanga

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Thu, 30 Mar 2006 02:57:45 GMT

It's always hard to leave somethng you've grown attached to for so long. Especially when you get to know the special things about it already and are so comfortable with it. But there comes a point in time when you know you have to leave certain things behind and take on a new path, because although it may be rocky and difficult at first, eventually you learn new things and grow into a better person.

The same goes for my very first year of college. During most of the first semester, I tried to cope with all the changes and the fact that I could no longer be with my closest friends, or could no longer run to them as much everytime i needed help. Last year has been all about change and although i was resilient enough, there was a huge part of me that was too stubborn to let some things go. And although it's already been almost a year and I might very well be the one of the last people to do it, i'm letting it all go. Highschool, REP, last summer, looney alley/avenue Q, first and second sem, everything. Not that i'm going to forget it all and pretend it never happened, but i'm just keeping them in a box and sealing it for now. I've held on to them for too long that it sometimes hindered me from certain things. Don't get me wrong, i'm not turning my back on my friends, of course not. I'm just finally closing that part and starting a new one.

And so with much contemplation, I am starting another adventure.

My new blog:

http://sunsetcradle.livejournal.com/

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Wed, 22 Mar 2006 13:50:25 GMT

What's on the other side?

I am once again procrastinating for the nth time by hopping from one blog or multiply page to another. Why is it that I always find some way to do every other possible thing than what i'm actually supposed to do? And I wonder why I don't get enough sleep. Geez Tricia, 2 days na nga lang eh!!

I think i'm craving for a fresh new start. After all, this summer would be the first time in 4 straight years that i will not have joined REP's summer workshops. It's become too much of a comfort zone for me already and I have so many other things I know i'm itching to do. Not going back there everyday for the next two months though is indeed going to be an ultimate sacrifice. Some of the most unforgettable and happiest days of my life were spent there.But i'm 18(blech) and want to do a lot of other things too. Again, time is not exactly on my side. (then again, when was he ever?)

Two more days to go before my finals are over. I was exempted from my Environmental Science finals though, *rejoice!!!* but I still have a paper for Literature that I have to write (but obviously am not), and a Play on "The Brute" to do. Haha, I don't know if I mentioned my most recent suicide attempt, but I somehow got myself into the mess of being the DIRECTOR of the play we're doing. Nobody wanted to do it and well, since I sort of already had a mental picture of how things would go, I volunteered to direct. The play is on Friday by the way, and rehearsals begin tomorrow. HAHA. Two days to produce an A, here we go! I just realized that I DO have the power to multi-task. The past 3 weeks have been nothing but multi-tasking left and right. I finally got the hang of it! So it's gonna be really difficult for me when the short summer break that I have comes (I have summer classes) coz i'm gonna be uber restless. Oh well, that's not a prob. Can you say "SLOTH"?

Two more days till finals and all academic requirements are over.Two more days till the end of my first ever year in college. Two more days till the end of my new beginning. Two more days till the start of a newer one. Two more days before I lose my mind.....again. I feel like a little kid peeking through the hole in a picket fence, wanting to see the other side. I just wish I could take a peek into the future.

I think I just might transfer to livejournal. Things look greener on that field.

that's a new start, isn't it?

One free hour for me!

Thu, 16 Mar 2006 11:16:49 GMT

SURVEY from Nikki

Seven Sections:
a n g e r section?

do you have a quick temper?: yes, when I’m feeling moody.
what do you do when you're mad?: either make dabog or keep it inside.

what's the worst thing you've done when you were mad?: Jas would know the answer to that ;) usually it would be the silent treatment, or the complete opposite, hehe.

if you can take back time, would you have never done this?: they were mostly instincts or a way of releasing super duper inis-ness. But yeah, I would have not done some of them.
ever made anyone cry when you were mad?: I don’t know….it’s mostly me who does the crying even if I’m the one who’s mad.
ever physically hurt someone when you were mad?: uuuhhh…. I dunno! (jas? did I??)
do you curse when you're mad?: I get the urge to sometimes, but no.

c r y i n g section?

when was the last time you really cried your heart out?: hmmm… January.
ever cried yourself to sleep?: oh boy.
ever cried on your friend's shoulder?: probably not specifically on their shoulders, haha. But I don’t like having people see me cry.
ever cried over the opposite sex?: nooneenooneenoo… =*
do you cry when you get an injury?: I don’t remember the last time I got a serious injury, but I probably would!
do certain songs make you cry?: yep. And a LOT make me cringe lately.
can you make yourself cry?: surprisingly yes, even if I don’t mean to!

p a i n section?

what's the hardest thing you've ever had to go through?: hmmm….i don’t know what others classify as hard, but I would say the past year has been the hardest so far in terms of EVERYTHING.
what's the worst thing you've done to yourself?: uuhhh… not eat and work myself to death?
what's the worst thing you've done to somebody else?: backstab I guess…. I everyone has done that at least once in their lives.
ever had a painful break up?: nope.
what about the old 'pain for pleasure'?: I don’t have that. I can’t stand being depressed/mad.
how depressed can you get?: you won’t see me smiling all day. and that’s SOMETHING.

do you inflict pain on yourself?: course not. that's stupid. (- I agree, nikki!)

h a p p y section?

are you normally a happy person?: I think I may tend to be overly-happy sometimes =D
what can make you happy?: family, friends, movies, music, theater, pakwan, unusual stuffed animals, coffee, inflicting people with my weirdness, almost anything under the sun.
do you wish you were happier?: sometimes.
what makes you the happiest?: being in neverland with the people I love.
what about being with your friends; does that make you happy?: oh yes. very much. =D
can music make you happy?: OH YEAH. Music is life!

l o v e section?

how many times have you had your heart broken?: lotsa times. Whenever something ends, my insides just crash. But only one time was coz of a person, I guess.
do you still have feelings for any of your old significant others? Significant others?
have you ever loved someone so much, that you'd die for them?: my family
did you ever love a guy, tell them that, and only got 'thanks' as a reply?: not exactly
ever loved someone so much, it hurt and made you cry?: guess you could say that?

has anyone besides your friends and family ever said 'i love you' to you?: erm, not to my face.

ever stopped a relationship because they didn't say 'i love you'?: n/a. but hello, that’d be so lame!

h a t e section?

who do you actually hate?: I don’t wanna seriously hate anyone, therefore I don’t.
Ever made a hit list?: not a serious one, haha.
have you ever been on a hit list?: i sure hope not =p
are you a mean bully?: to my sister and a few selected friends, hehehehe =D
do you hate any one that breaks your heart?: I’d probably say it to myself but wouldn’t really mean it.
do you hate George Bush?: i don't care. hehehe.

s e l f - e s t e e m section?

is your self-esteem extremely low?: not extremely.
do you believe in yourself?: most of the time.
when people say they think you are pretty, do you deny you are?: some of the time
are you one of those idiots that think they are ugly, dumb, and fat?: haha. at times.
ever wanted to kill yourself because you thought you weren't good enough?: no. just bury myself underground for some time.
are you happy with who you are?: eeeeyeah
do you wish you can be someone else?: some of the time.

ok, back to work. My 3 hell weeks are half-over, so....till then! i've got lots to talk about. hopefully, i'll remember by the end of the last hell week

I WANNA WATCH RENT!!!!!!

Monday, March 06, 2006

Mon, 06 Mar 2006 08:58:57 GMT

Weekend Madness

First of all, congratulations to the cast and crew of SWEET CHARITY!!! Everything went great, and the performers were awesome. Makes me wish I were up there with you! Oh well, at least my dream of wanting to be an usherette was fulfilled. One dream down! hehehe. click here for pictures, courtesy of my twin: http://princessity.multiply.com/photos/album/24

My lower body really friggin' aches from our P.E. finals yesterday. As luck should have it, the only P.E. class that fit my class schedule and wasn't so early in the morning was running. Thus, our finals were to participate in the "FUN RUN" yesterday morning. Saturday night, I prepped myself up to do the maaany things I needed this week, so I made a list of thigns to do. It filled up 3/4's of the page. But nevermind, as long as I geared myself all up for it and convinced myself that I could finish it, I would. Suddenly over dinner, my mom decides she wants to watch a movie. She hasn't gone to the movie house to watch a film in years because she ends up falling asleep (which is partly why I don't get to see much movies with my family anymore), and out of the blue she decides to see Brokeback Mountain! Greeeeaat. So while she, kuya, ate and ate pat went out to watch that, I was left alone at home. Doing my stupid report for Fil. I finally finished at 1 and slept at around 1:30, then woke up at 3:30 for the said "FUN RUN" around the WHOLE ATENEO CAMPUS on a sunday morning. 5 am to be exact. After going through CAT training in 4th year, I thought I could take anything and it wouldn't be as hard anymore.....until I met Running. Poor Eya didn't even get any sleep at ALL. (yan kasi, party ng party!) Well, at least I finished it! 5 kilometrers in exactly 32.33 minutes. Woohoo. I hope that isn't an F. ( I think our time limit was supposed to be 30 mins)

Anyhoo. Before that unfortunate night of mine, our English block was required to watch the play "Gabriela" in UP. Aside from me laughing about it before the play as it constantly reminded me of Peachy, I was so amazed by the whole show! It was a joint production by the Dulaang UP, UP vocal ensemble and the UP Filipiniana Dancers. Oh my, it was really something. Even their props and background designs, and every one of them was overflowing with expression. Woweee. Had a short but great kaffeeklatsch with Jas in the Starbucks beside Chilli's after. It was so hard, cramming all of our stories within 2 hours or so. It's so difficult having a plok life without you!! and all those everyday madness-situations as well. This summer let's do it a lot more until we get sick of each other! (although that probably can't happen).

All Hell Breaks Loose in 5...4...3...2...

Today marks the official start of the 3 weeks of hell to come. The whole week ahead of me is already planned out and fully loaded all the way until Sunday when my groupmates and I visit Quiapo for English. Which is why I am procrastinating now by writing here because I know I won't be able to and can't be tempted to in the next few days. But it's great that I get to laugh constantly and sometimes non-stoply everyday. I swear, if it wasn't for my ka-cornihan, kababawan and my little everyday stupidities with my friends, I would have combusted ages ago. And "plok" sightings are getting more frequent sooo... it keeps me balanced,haha. Oh well, that's all for now. Hope I get out of the next 3 weeks alive to update this again soon. Ciao.

"And she lived HOPEFULLY ever after....." -Sweet Charity

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Wed, 01 Mar 2006 14:46:20 GMT

tricia --
[adjective]:

Tastes like fried chicken

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Ok, ang labo. When Peachy typed in my name, Tricia meant "Full of bees". When i tried it, it came out to mean "sexually stunning". I was gonna copy and paste it here but it got lost so i typed it again, and suddenly it meant "a lewd street performer". After another try it meant "like a banana peel", "a brand of soylent green breakfast cereal", and finally I was made to stop when it read "extremely flatulent". I was trying to get some of the better ones that came out, but i decided to stick with the one given here instead.

patring --
[noun]:

A person who laughs at anything (even this entry)

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Now THIS fits just right!! The first time Peachy typed this name in, what came out was: "a person with questionable sanity capable of forming their own cults". Hmmm.... guess JP's right. Patring IS more interesting,hahaha. (but man, do i despise that name.)

Monday, February 27, 2006

Mon, 27 Feb 2006 09:49:41 GMT

PICTURES BY MEEEE:

-this is what i've been doing for the past 3 hours,hehehe. Playing with photoshop's fun! makes me feel like i know how!

Today i was supposed to be absent for school in order to do our project in Lit. It's supposed to be a poetry reading, so each group is supposed to present a poem on a particular facet of love. (it's a sort of post-valentines day thing that was supposed to be 2 weeks ago). Our group's the last, and we picked eternal love (how cheesy that sounds, i know) and we decided to make a sort of music video showing clips from different movies after we present our poem. We planned to show couples from when they were kids,becoming teens, haing their prom, then them getting married and all the way until their old and they die together. Something to that effect. So my groupmates provided me with some of the movies and then i had to figure out how to put them all together creatively and to match the song. So after 2 nights of that, i went to this place to have the video edited/made. Luckily, walang pasok ngayon so i didn't have to cut classes!hehehe. It took about 3 hours, and the video's pretty nice! I've directed my first video!! well,in a way anyways. Was supposed to meet jas today and treat her to Starbucks but after this video editing thingy i'm now broke for the week. Rarr. Wish i could show you guys,haha.

Anyways, i know i haven't been blogging all that much lately, and it's pretty strange since there's been so much happening. But that's probably why i can't blog na...too much has been happening, and some i'm not really sure what to say. Like this whole chaotic mess that's happening in the country. I've said some thoughts about it and about other stuff in my other blog coz i know nobody really goes there,hehe. I guess, in the words of Jas, i just feel so "irrelevant". That doesn't necessarily mean that i wanna feel important or anything, it's more of an i-feel-useless-and-"blaaah"-ish-and-dont-really-know-what-to-say-and-it-wont-matter-anyway sort of thing.

Humdeedum. that's all for now. Till i can maybe find some inspiration and something worthwhile to write about. Au revoir.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Sun, 19 Feb 2006 04:25:29 GMT

The Aftermath.

After only 6 weeks of rehearsals, another show has gone by. I feel like this was the most bitin show I've had so far. Thursday and Friday night brought back so many familiar feelings and I finally got to do what i've always loved doing. After months of feeling extremely crappy and well...yes, forlorn, I finally got to do one of the things that never fail to make me happy. And although it seemed too short, I'm very grateful for doing it a second time. The first time brought so many revelations and lessons to the point that I thought I'd strangle myself if any more revelations came out, but the second time brought peace and more importantly, understanding. After almost a year,I now finally understand why things happened. This play will always be the most meaningful one. Thanks to everyone who came to watch.

Sigh. But now its all over, and although there are a few starting promises of Looney Alley running again during the summer or something, some people won't be able to be a part of it anymore. I hate feeling so attached to some things and having it vanish so quickly. Ugh. I never seem to get used to it.

Nearing another end

My first year as a college student is almost at an end, and i'm just glad to have made it this far. But now i still dont know what i wanna do. I told myself long ago that Avenue Q was gonna be my last workshop play at Rep,and i wanna stick with that decision. It just feels weird that for the first time in 4 years, i'm not going back. And also for the first time in my entire life, i'm gonna have school during the summer. hahaha. but i guess things will begin to unfurl and opportunities will come. Right now i just feel so lost and unsure of a lot of things. You can tell coz i haven't been blogging although there's so much that i've been wanting to say. I don't think i've ever felt this....unusual, but i guess it'll pass sooner or later. atleast i hope it does anyway. Yuckerooos, i hate feeling so...so...... *insert some profound word*.

"And if it turns out it's over too fast, i'll make every last moment last...."

VISIT: http://tweecia.multiply.com

Monday, February 06, 2006

Mon, 06 Feb 2006 11:30:10 GMT

The irony of life.....

Friday, February 03, 2006

Fri, 03 Feb 2006 15:35:22 GMT

My 10-page argumentative research paper in English is OVER. The ES long test is OVER. Finally i get a little more time to breathe......

Today, after sleeping at 3 am trying to finish my paper, i went to school feeling extremely lethargic and forcing myself to study for the long test in ES. My english and lit classes were free cuts, but instead of studying, i fell asleep. A nice and suitably-lengthed nap in which i even dreamt that Anna Achacoso came to our rehearsals for "Looney Alley" and joined again.
Haha, goes to show how nervous I am for the play. We barely have 2 weeks and we still need a Looooooot of practice.

Met up with Peachy again in Shang, then we hung out at the food court and designed/wrote in each other's planners and talked about some senseless and sense-full things. It was really painful though coz i can't laugh without my stomach muscles hurting like heck! (Darned P.E class, arrrgh) After that, my mom picked us up and we hung out at Starbucks in Pasong Tamo before going to Magallanes for rehearsals. Aww, it felt good and at the same time, sorta odd being at Rep's hang-out place after a long time. I sort of decided already that I wouldn't be joining the summer workshops anymore, so being there just instantly flushed in 3 years worth of summer memories. We visited Rep too, and got their flyers for the whole year's repertoire.

Rehearsals are, well, coming along....we're never complete so it makes things really difficult. Me and Mimi end up rehearsing parts that aren't even ours to begin with because others aren't there. I'm getting pretty scared for it already. Things are fun and hard work at the same time, and also a lot like deja vu. I swear, it's like being in a time warp. But things are fine. Funny,deeply ironic, laugh trip-py and really strange at times, but still tons of fun. Excited for the show. Please do come watch if you can.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Wed, 01 Feb 2006 12:31:00 GMT

Contrary to my last post, things ARE looking up at last. No more hermit crab-motion, I hope.

Last Saturday was my first high school reunion ever. It took a while for that to finally sink in, and I was a little unsure of what would happen, but it went great. Being in the presence of the people you grew up with was more than I could possibly wish for. It was exactly what i needed.

I haven't seen them in who knows how long. Heck, I haven't even seen my bestbud in ages. The reason why i've been feeling so down was because I used to always have them to turn to. Unlike some people in school now who still see their closest friends around in school or go out every now and then, I didn't have that same fortune and really really REALLY missed them. After hanging out with my bestbud last weekend, my spirits started to lift and I recognized my old happy self again.

It feels great to be back. I really cannot handle sadness very well, or any other feeling besides happiness, for that matter. I go craaaaazy.

To those who've helped me in everything, i will always be grateful. Even those who just took the time to ask how i was doing. You've given back my sunny days.
Thanks a million.

"I don't understand."
"It's NOT about understanding! It's about NOT giving up."
- What Dreams May Come

~I just found out there’s no such thing as the real world, just a lie you’ve got to rise above.~